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State of the Sleepy Union
Feb. 2nd, 2011 11:16 amThough still far from any ideal, our sleep situation has dramatically improved over the past two weeks.
In my last report, I was planning a jump off a cliff. It was, as one of my mama cohorts has reported, the Guantanamo Bay of baby sleep. I was absolutely tortured. This resulted in a whole lot of 3am ANGER.
Things had to change.
Buster decided that he was going to send me out of the house for a few nights in a row some two weeks ago, so that Niko could be left to cry a little. A few months ago, I would have absolutely balked at this idea. For the record, I totally support anyone's decision to do the whole Cry It Out thing. I just haven't really thought it was for us. Turns out, a little crying was the best thing we could have done for our family at this point in time.
Niko was obviously not getting enough sleep. He was nursing all night and taking crap naps. I was getting far less sleep than he was, and poor Buster had to shoulder a whole bunch of emotional weight and keep us afloat for so long. Something had to crack, and we were damned if that something was to be a parent.
So! For two nights in a row I nursed Niko down and left the house until the midnight feeding. Buster took over. I don't want to get into how hard it's been during a few nights for him to hear Niko cry. We agreed that we should check on him every 3 minutes, 5 minutes, and eventually 10 minutes. He rarely cried for very long.
Buster and I agreed to tackle the rest of the night (midnight to 7am) gradually, later, when we have rooms. The important part was to get Niko down in his pack and play for the first part of the night. He's crawling around and pulling himself up so much that there is no way we felt safe leaving him in the loft in the bed. The pack and play is the only safe place for him to be alone right now. I honestly think that this whole endeavor was made harder by the fact that Niko can pull himself up now. He had JUST figured out how to do it and hadn't yet figured out how to sit back down. I rather wish we had done something a few weeks sooner.
Turns out that the whole sleep association thing is pretty true. After Niko figured out that he could sleep, sleep he did. Until about midnight, most nights, when I come and nurse him down into the pack n play again. He doesn't argue about sleep after the midnight nursing.
But we still had trouble. Niko can NOT sleep in bed with me at night any longer AT THIS POINT. He would still wake me every half hour from the moment I brought him into bed (he won't stay in the pack n play past 2 or 4 and we don't blame him! who would want to see us all toasty in the bed right next to him while he's in the baby box?). I hit a wall again about a week ago. While the free time between 8 and midnight was nice, I really wasn't getting any more sleep than I was before.
Finally, we agreed that I would nurse Niko at 12 and at 4, but that Buster would do all the co-sleeping and I would be ON THE COUCH. That first night, with the 4am feeding sandwiched in, we adult Bensons got 8 glorious hours of wonderful sleep.
I have been on the couch ever since, with similar success. Niko still wakes up very often after 4, but his dad gets him calmed down pretty quickly into sleep. Last night, with an aching back, I decided to creep into bed around 4:30. Niko was still in the pack and play after his 4am feeding (he went down so easy after that feeding, which is really unusual). Turns out that that was a BAD IDEA. When Niko ultimately woke up and we brought him to bed, he was really really ANGRY when I wouldn't feed him. If I'm even within eye shot during the night, I'm expected to pony up the boobs. He will absolutely refuse to go to sleep if I don't nurse him down if he sees me. If it's his father, no probs. He knows that the papa doesn't have boobs and is good for a cuddle.
I miss my bed. My back is killing me. I miss cuddling my son all night long. I miss spooning with my husband. But, dudes, I do not miss nursing on demand every half hour. I wish the situation could be different, but right now that's where it all stands! I am a much MUCH better mother this week than I have been in AGES. I get so much done that one would think I were snorting ritalin. Niko gets play groups. Niko gets more walks. Niko gets all of my attention and my attention is HAPPY.
Also, out of the blue this week, Niko has decided that I don't need to nap WITH him in order for him to nap. I think that this is due in large part to the fact that he is getting more sleep at night and isn't so overstimulated during the day. His daytime napping has improved so much with our new sleep situations.
Fuck yeah! But oh shit I might be screwed when Buster goes out of town on business in two weeks…. hmmmmm…..
***
In other, related news!
WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!! We have an beautiful apartment WITH ROOMS waiting for us on First Hill! It is 1100 sq feet of gorgeous amazingness with the original oak floors from 1910, a formal dining room, a cute kitchen, a large living room, 2 BEDROOMS, 2 bathrooms, window boxes, and a terrific land lord. This place has proximity to many bus lines, all my mom friends on Capital Hill, and all my other friends on Capital Hill. You wouldn't believe the price if I told you (that price does come with a hitch, but maybe more on that later).
WE ALSO HAVE A RENTER FOR THE LOFT!!! WHO IS INTERESTED IN BUYING (contingent on the sale of his house in the burbs, so who knows what that means)!!! SO WE ARE NOT GOING TO GO INTO FANTASTICAL DEBT (we don't think) DOING THIS!!!
Things are looking up, dear friends! Seattle is a little cold right now but about to have FAKE SPRING! If you don't live here, you should know that that means bulbs budding! Flowers flowering! Temperate air flowing! All in February. It is one of my favorite fake Seattle seasons, right up there with FAKE SUMMER, which happens in May.
Fake teaser seasons. Oh, Seattle! You are a funny place. I kind of love you. Which is passive aggressive PNW way of saying that we belong. In an awkward way. A little. You're sort of awesome.
In my last report, I was planning a jump off a cliff. It was, as one of my mama cohorts has reported, the Guantanamo Bay of baby sleep. I was absolutely tortured. This resulted in a whole lot of 3am ANGER.
Things had to change.
Buster decided that he was going to send me out of the house for a few nights in a row some two weeks ago, so that Niko could be left to cry a little. A few months ago, I would have absolutely balked at this idea. For the record, I totally support anyone's decision to do the whole Cry It Out thing. I just haven't really thought it was for us. Turns out, a little crying was the best thing we could have done for our family at this point in time.
Niko was obviously not getting enough sleep. He was nursing all night and taking crap naps. I was getting far less sleep than he was, and poor Buster had to shoulder a whole bunch of emotional weight and keep us afloat for so long. Something had to crack, and we were damned if that something was to be a parent.
So! For two nights in a row I nursed Niko down and left the house until the midnight feeding. Buster took over. I don't want to get into how hard it's been during a few nights for him to hear Niko cry. We agreed that we should check on him every 3 minutes, 5 minutes, and eventually 10 minutes. He rarely cried for very long.
Buster and I agreed to tackle the rest of the night (midnight to 7am) gradually, later, when we have rooms. The important part was to get Niko down in his pack and play for the first part of the night. He's crawling around and pulling himself up so much that there is no way we felt safe leaving him in the loft in the bed. The pack and play is the only safe place for him to be alone right now. I honestly think that this whole endeavor was made harder by the fact that Niko can pull himself up now. He had JUST figured out how to do it and hadn't yet figured out how to sit back down. I rather wish we had done something a few weeks sooner.
Turns out that the whole sleep association thing is pretty true. After Niko figured out that he could sleep, sleep he did. Until about midnight, most nights, when I come and nurse him down into the pack n play again. He doesn't argue about sleep after the midnight nursing.
But we still had trouble. Niko can NOT sleep in bed with me at night any longer AT THIS POINT. He would still wake me every half hour from the moment I brought him into bed (he won't stay in the pack n play past 2 or 4 and we don't blame him! who would want to see us all toasty in the bed right next to him while he's in the baby box?). I hit a wall again about a week ago. While the free time between 8 and midnight was nice, I really wasn't getting any more sleep than I was before.
Finally, we agreed that I would nurse Niko at 12 and at 4, but that Buster would do all the co-sleeping and I would be ON THE COUCH. That first night, with the 4am feeding sandwiched in, we adult Bensons got 8 glorious hours of wonderful sleep.
I have been on the couch ever since, with similar success. Niko still wakes up very often after 4, but his dad gets him calmed down pretty quickly into sleep. Last night, with an aching back, I decided to creep into bed around 4:30. Niko was still in the pack and play after his 4am feeding (he went down so easy after that feeding, which is really unusual). Turns out that that was a BAD IDEA. When Niko ultimately woke up and we brought him to bed, he was really really ANGRY when I wouldn't feed him. If I'm even within eye shot during the night, I'm expected to pony up the boobs. He will absolutely refuse to go to sleep if I don't nurse him down if he sees me. If it's his father, no probs. He knows that the papa doesn't have boobs and is good for a cuddle.
I miss my bed. My back is killing me. I miss cuddling my son all night long. I miss spooning with my husband. But, dudes, I do not miss nursing on demand every half hour. I wish the situation could be different, but right now that's where it all stands! I am a much MUCH better mother this week than I have been in AGES. I get so much done that one would think I were snorting ritalin. Niko gets play groups. Niko gets more walks. Niko gets all of my attention and my attention is HAPPY.
Also, out of the blue this week, Niko has decided that I don't need to nap WITH him in order for him to nap. I think that this is due in large part to the fact that he is getting more sleep at night and isn't so overstimulated during the day. His daytime napping has improved so much with our new sleep situations.
Fuck yeah! But oh shit I might be screwed when Buster goes out of town on business in two weeks…. hmmmmm…..
***
In other, related news!
WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!! We have an beautiful apartment WITH ROOMS waiting for us on First Hill! It is 1100 sq feet of gorgeous amazingness with the original oak floors from 1910, a formal dining room, a cute kitchen, a large living room, 2 BEDROOMS, 2 bathrooms, window boxes, and a terrific land lord. This place has proximity to many bus lines, all my mom friends on Capital Hill, and all my other friends on Capital Hill. You wouldn't believe the price if I told you (that price does come with a hitch, but maybe more on that later).
WE ALSO HAVE A RENTER FOR THE LOFT!!! WHO IS INTERESTED IN BUYING (contingent on the sale of his house in the burbs, so who knows what that means)!!! SO WE ARE NOT GOING TO GO INTO FANTASTICAL DEBT (we don't think) DOING THIS!!!
Things are looking up, dear friends! Seattle is a little cold right now but about to have FAKE SPRING! If you don't live here, you should know that that means bulbs budding! Flowers flowering! Temperate air flowing! All in February. It is one of my favorite fake Seattle seasons, right up there with FAKE SUMMER, which happens in May.
Fake teaser seasons. Oh, Seattle! You are a funny place. I kind of love you. Which is passive aggressive PNW way of saying that we belong. In an awkward way. A little. You're sort of awesome.
