i was 2 cm away from ordering makers on the rocks 5 times last night. i was so annoying that buster yelled at me to just get a drink already because he was tired of listening to me whine. i'm over health month. not the food part, certainly, but the drinking part is getting under my skin.
then i remembered that i gave my skinny skinniest jeans away to alice because i told myself months ago to never aspire to that weight again! and that's a good thing because i totally looked for them for a few minutes last night before remembering that i gave them to someone who is 5'4" and thus the appropriate height weight ratio. every time i try to lose weight i get a little crazy in the end. it becomes a competition with myself to see just how far i can take it. that's really stupid. i'm just telling you because i know you understand AND because if i say it out loud, i'll be chill.
tell me about it. when i first moved back here i went a little crazy. i think i was just stressed and felt out of place. i was fitting into clothes i hadn't worn in 6 years and that made me happy in a sick sort of way and i had to remind myself that i was getting to a place that was scary for the people in my life. . .so i chilled out. of course the climb back up is just as hard the second time as it was the first. dammit i'm too old to be going through this crap again!
you're probably like me in that if you're heartbroken, you can't eat. that explains what happened when you first moved, for sure. i can't lie and say that some heart hurting (not breaking this year!) didn't help with my health month dieting, but the buck stops at these jeans. at least we know better now, right? 10 years ago would have been a freak out.
my not eating is usually a result of inner turmoil. when i am really really sad i can stuff my pie hole, but if that sadness is coupled with calamity than food is the last thing on my mind. starving is and always will be a control thing for me and over eating is a loss of control. i have found balance, but its hard to maintain. i know deep down that i like being smaller than i should be. clothes look better, but in the end i will always find faults so why be sickly and gross and discontent when i can be healthy and glowing and discontent?! hahaha.
it's true. we need pictures. do new yorkers a favor a please supply us all with some visual aid.....or else i'll have to come over, get together, and see it in person. :-)
i know just the place for magueritas + catchup. i'm jobless and carless and it's freezing! perfect time to put to rest the gossip of our fair weathered friendship. :-D
thursdays are good. i agree, nyc can be very pretty...even before spring arrives. as long as i don't look fat standing next to your new super shapely fabulous self, we're good to go.
cuz i am a whopping BEHEMOTH now. a fav relative arrived and decided to stay for seven weeks (still here) and she's been taking me out to eat three times a day.
it went straight to my thighs.
i blinded someone the other day from a button popping on my superlows.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-01-25 04:22 am (UTC)i'm afraid to try mine. maybe another month. or six.
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Date: 2008-01-29 07:09 pm (UTC)cuz i am a whopping BEHEMOTH now. a fav relative arrived and decided to stay for seven weeks (still here) and she's been taking me out to eat three times a day.
it went straight to my thighs.
i blinded someone the other day from a button popping on my superlows.