kellianne: (Default)
kellianne ([personal profile] kellianne) wrote2013-04-11 10:05 am
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I am sitting by a marina somewhere up north after an easy 8 mile ride. And, you guys, it has been almost 5 years since I quit doing cardio because of my stupid arthritic foot. I have even taken walking easy during that time. Couldn't do any cardio at all and never really thought to bike much in seattle because I am just not tough enough for those hills in that weather.

The East Bay may not be hip. It may not have street fashion or inspirational haircuts. I will probably not ever again get to walk into a local bar again and have everybody pretty and fun know my name. I don't have too many friends. I wear the same yoga pants every day.

But biking? In this weather? By this water? In these dirty yoga pants? Everything. I feel fucking great! My foot isn't bothered in the least. My lungs feel so happy to be pushed a little. My legs look, for the first time in ages, like they are starting to balance out in muscularity (my left leg is incredibly dominant no matter how much I stuck with my asana practice).

I feel so incredibly grateful to my husband for moving us here. It is truly the biggest boon to my health and longevity, and it happened right at a time when I was starting to feel really awfully old before my time. I feel as if he has saved me from certain death. Or at the very least, he has helped to keep me from the very depths of chronic pain. Which is, not in a small way, saving our little family.

Hopelessness is contagious. I don't want my chronic pain to become a big part of Niko's story. I'd rather create a story about managing pain and finding joy, which doesn't come easy to everyone.

When Buster and I talked about the possibility of moving to Berkeley, I had fantasies about becoming a bike riding family. It was pretty outside my reality. It just seemed like riding a bike was the only exercise option I had left (outside of yoga, which is my forever practice). On Sunday, we are heading out on a 30 mile morning ride with some friends. My plan is to get to a 60 mile trek before the end of the summer. I'm just so excited and so thankful to have found a new healthy practice that makes me so joyful, especially one that I can share with my family and friends.

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