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4 months!
Niko started to chuckle during this last week! He's been trying to laugh for a while, but now the full-on giggles are coming out! It's so ridiculously cute.
Buster gets him laughing much more easily than I do. I can't figure out if it's just because Buster is inherently more silly than I am (it's true) or if it's because Niko and I have this different mother/son sort of relationship that is lovely in a more spiritual and nurturing sense. Maybe it's a little bit of both?
Mr. Crane and I still have staring contests when we nurse. It's my favorite to see him slowly start drift off to sleep while trying his best to keep his eyes on mine. It's incredible pay back for all the months of drudgery that is pregnancy. Pay back, even, for the crazy painful transformation of labor and delivery. Everything every crazy mother ever told you about falling in love with a baby being the biggest transformative love ever... is true. Everything. I swear.
And it's not just a hormonal response! I can honestly say that I now understand falling in love with a baby. I get why people just love babies and want to be around them as much as possible. Babies are so lovely, magical, wonderful creatures that remind you of what it is to be your essential self. Your self without all those stories you let your ego distract you with. They feel joy, pain, sadness, and contentment in such pure ways, and you can't help but feel essential right along with them.
Of course, like any mother, I feel like my baby is particularly wonderful. He's terribly cuddly and sweet. He'd rather rest his head on his father's shoulder or his mother's chest than just about anything else. Even when he's in his freshest mood, after the grogginess of a nap, he's willing to nuzzle in the rocker between smiles and language practice.
The language practice is hilarious these days. Two weeks ago, when his first tooth started coming in, he started yelling. That's when he really discovered his voice and now he is very much so concentrated on making sounds and speaking. He wrinkles his little brow, thinks and thinks, and lets out a bunch of alooowllleeee sounds. Eventually he gets frustrated that he's not in complete control of his tongue and everything gets down to yelling again. It's really something to watch!
A little while, we started with our bedtime ritual of bath, massage, book, and boob. It really seems to work. He's going down earlier and earlier every night, though. We now start the ritual at 7 because that's just really when he's ready to go. He seems to be ready to go earlier and earlier, as the sun sets earlier and earlier in the evening. At this rate, he'll be in bed at 4 for the winter solstice. Sometimes he wakes after 2 hours to nurse, and sometimes he wakes after 6. It really depends. On what it depends, I do not know. As far as I can tell, the sleeping is largely unpredictable except for the fact it happens largely at night with two substantial naps during the day. After 4am, he seems to half sleep. This is when his tooth bothers him the most, so he often starts waking me every hour to nurse. Between nursings, he's often kicking me repeatedly and occasionally screaming out in pain and frustrating until 7, when his father takes him away so that I can get a blissful hour or two of sleep on my own.
That in mind, I really should head to bed now so that I get a good 6 hours in before leaving in for work at 9 tomorrow.
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thanks for sharing your thoughts...it's been a long time since I spent hour upon hour with a baby. that baby is now in college!
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