kellianne: (Default)
Niko seems to be getting better at lying down for naps, which is an terrific relief. Buster is really good at standing and rocking him to sleep, but he's just too heavy for me to do the same with. I tend to nurse him down for naps while we lay together, which is really nice, anyhow, especially because I know that our days lying down together and nursing to nap are limited. Anyhow, today, I rocked him and nursed him when we were interrupted by the diaper service at our door. I quickly put him into his pack and play (where he sleeps when he's not laying with us in bed) and expected him to fuss the moment I left him... but he went to sleep instead. Good job, little dude!

I meant to write in my Niko News a few days ago that he responded to a request that I've been pestering him with for a week now. He's been figuring out how to use his fingers and his nails, and loves to grab and scratch rhythmically. I've been imploring him to "be gentle with mama" while he nurses or touches my face. I show him how to be more gentle by moving his hands for him. The day before yesterday, he totally changed the way his hand was grabbing and stroked me with his fingers when I asked him to be gentle. It was so sweet and wonderful!

Today I gave him a teething biscuit for the first time. I quickly realized that he's far too little for a biscuit, but not before he figured out that he LOVES how they taste. So I took it away and put it into his mesh feeder. He gnawed on that thing for a half-hour while I sang to him and did the dishes. It was hilarious.

Now that I am back to work for three days a week, these domestic housewife days have become precious. Especially when they include afternoons with awesome mom friends and their own incredible babies. Work, too, is precious. I love being at Vain. My favorite clients are all back and I am a busy bee! I feel as if everything is in perfect balance these days, and I am so thankful.

Now, to finish dinner prep while he naps, then get ready to whisk him off to child care at the gym so I can get in a blissfully alone yoga practice. I do much better as a mother and a wife if I have a regular yoga practice! I seriously need to meditate on some specifics of being a better person at least twice a week, while stretching. If I don't do this, I feel broken in spirit and WAY broken in the back. Weight training makes me super hot, but yoga makes me super lovely and puts space between my bones. I like the balance between the two, too. Strength of body and spirit so I can get everything done with grace... while looking hot. Word.

All that said, thank goodness for cheap child care at the gym. It's so awesome to just drop him there for an hour and a half and not have to worry about it. Totally worth the membership.
kellianne: (Default)
You know, real life never really happens in stop action sequence. The Godfathers really oversimplified things with their cry of birth, school, work, death. Rather, life is constantly shifting. One door closes as another opens. The sunset of one love leads to the rise of another. Good dj's beat match some sort of a fade in while the hit of 4 minutes ago fades out. Emulating the sun, we constantly shift. The light at 6am is even different from the light at 6:15am. We age during the day. We change in maturity level and in cellular level. We learn and shift our opinions. Even decisions that seem sudden and crazy come from a lot of internal processing. No one ever just wakes up a different person. We become different persons slowly; science suggests that we are entirely different on a cellular level every 7 years. We constantly regenerate and replace, one cell at a time.

It's funny then to think of how our brains work. It's almost as if the computer of our brains seek comfort, some anchor in the realm of constant shifting. Our minds are so advanced in pattern recognition that they seem to have some difficulty shifting with the times. We hold people from the past in our minds as unchanging. We even set ourselves up in resistance of that old person's definition, ready to propagate that old sameness with our usual lines of defense.

I know, for easy instance, that when I speak with my mother - I speak from years of knowing her. I am ready, with my usual line of self-righteous justification, for any argument. Knowing how much I have changed since we last spoke, knowing how much my life has changed even over the course of this last weekend (it did!!!), shouldn't I allow her the room to have changed, as well? Shouldn't we always try to operate on a slate that is somewhat clean?

I'm putting this out there to remind myself that we all change. All the time. Life is always exciting. The husband you see after work at 7 isn't completely the same as the husband who left at 9 this morning. Your best friend has been through a lot since you spoke last week. That white noise and neurosis of processing that you hear in your mind is also present in everyone else's mind. We're all thinking, we're all shifting. Everything is a little bit newer as it gets a little bit older.

***

I had a meditative breakthrough in my yoga workshop yesterday. This isn't saying a whole lot, I'm not so great with meditation. Just a year ago, you could hear me saying that meditation wasn't for New Yorkers (and neither, for that matter, was any concept of god or a holy spirit). But for me, yesterday, I got it for a minute. The blue-violet light came, I thought, "omg it's the blue light!" and with that thought everything zipped back to me and my neurosis. Still, that light is there, that elusive still is there, and that's new and changed for me. I thought a lot through the 4 hour yoga practice about change, grace, health, beauty, and being thankful. I feel myself changing with fluidity, and vowed to try and acknowledge and appreciate how much all the people I love are changing too.

During the really tough moments in the physical practice, I dedicated the pose to someone I was having difficulties with and found that that dedication would, for instance, keep me away from getting crazy or panicked about being inverted for 5 minutes. Not falling, for the sake of someone else, was a pretty magical experience. I also experienced my meditation breakthrough when I was asked to concentrate on the people sitting next to me, to help them deepen their mediation. With this in mind, I remember a quote:

"Whatever Joy there is in this world all comes from desiring others to be happy. And whatever suffering there is in this world, all comes from desiring myself to be happy." (Shantideva: A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life)

***

[livejournal.com profile] billetdoux is going to say that Seattle is getting to my head. I don't care. I honestly would have paid this much attention in NYC if I'd only had the time.
kellianne: (Default)
This week, many things in Seattle have come into focus.

I met with my future employer, manager, and friends at Karma for a job interview on Tuesday evening. They are opening a new salon here in Belltown on Second Avenue at an exact location I spotted last summer. I stood by those exact windows, staring at the vast open space inside, wishing that I had the money to open my own salon. When Tiffany and Sean Lowery- local hairstylists here- told me that a friend of theirs was opening a salon in that space, I got excited. Sean called one of the proprietors and suggested me for a chair at the salon. Ingo is also good friends with Robert, who currently works at Red. Robert's business partner is the gentleman behind the Noc Noc, a successful local club that verges on the goth side.

The 4,000 square foot space will be called Stylus, and is a concept salon and full spa with the feel of a club. There will be chandlers, lots of natural lighting, a dj booth, an art gallery, 10 stylist chairs, and a full-service spa downstairs. There will also be a full bar for those of you who desire cocktail comfort during your salon services! I am very very excited to work in this community with such amazing people. I had several job offers prior to this one, and they all felt like they'd be ok, but I didn't have a strong gut feeling about any of them. This time, my gut tells me that this is the right place and right time. I am so happy when I think of all the new things I'll be learning in a new environment. There is so much about my business that I still need to experience firsthand, and being a part of a team that is opening something completely new has not been a part of my hair vocabulary until this point.

Also, am doing a wedding at the Hilton this weekend. There will be 10 attendants (!!!), and I'm stoked to tell them all about the new salon.


I am having an amazing experience practicing at Samadhi Yoga Studio in Capital Hill. Their flow is deep and challenging. I'm getting stronger every day through their practice and now meeting people and seeing lots of friendly and familiar faces in the studio. The teacher I have been concentrating on practice with is Eriek, his adjustments and instructions are totally on point. I am deepening my practice here in ways I have strived towards for years, and can even visualize accomplishing the eventual jump-back hurdle that has prevented me so far from getting to any truly advanced level. My back is no longer giving me pain, and I feel that the instruction is giving me a much stronger sense of inner-peace that is so necessary during this transition.

I find absolute delight in shopping every day at the Pike Place Market. My vendors all know me quite well now, my skin is shining from so many fresh fruits, vegetables, and anti-oxident herbal teas. I've lost 9 pounds since arriving here 2 weeks ago. That's a little crazy and fast, but I haven't been drinking and think that much of it is water weight. I certainly am not starving myself, and am in fact obsessed today with satsuma and granola sweetened with dates.

Yesterday I went shopping at Nordstorms and Macys and noted that they carry a lot of awesome designers at the locations here. I was impressed, honestly. I didn't think that Seattle's store buyers had it in them. It was really nice to be in a large and well stocked department store without having to battle any of the 5th avenue or Soho crowds. I didn't buy anything, but am looking forward to working again so that I can afford to!

Last night we had a health month approved dinner at Andy and Ingo's, complete with sparkling apple and pomegranate cider in champagne glasses. Then, Ingo kicked all our collective asses in a Foodie game. Good times.

That's pretty much the gist of being here. I've had a few minor set-backs, and one rude little blow last night, but nothing that has ever made me regret moving for even a split second. In fact, every time Buster or I have a set-back, it seems ultimately an inspiration to continue through our bold transition, and even make it more bold. We are certainly stronger when we're together, and happier. Life is crazy beautiful and rewarding even when things get a little ugly. It's a good thing that I've resolved to stay gold.

Also, this will probably concern none of you, but I've decided to take the greater part of this journal public. I've kept it friends-only for years, but have shifted my tone a lot in the last several months and find that I don't necessarily write anything that the world can't know. I'm long over venting my life's little dramas on the internet, over having any secretive friends only or filtered tell-all drama in my life at all. I am who I am and I am who you see. Face value. That's that.

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kellianne

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