kellianne: (2009)
[personal profile] kellianne
This kid, you guys. He's so deep, but so silly. The other day he pointed at my frown lines and asked why I had them. I told him that they were wrinkles from squinting a lot in the sun. He got suddenly upset and said, "DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T say they are wrinkles!" I asked him what was so wrong with wrinkles and he said - "Wrinkles mean that you are old, and when you are old you will die. Then we won't be together."

I shit you not. This is our kid. He told us just yesterday, "I am lonely in my life." Apparently he wants another kid in the yard, but does not want a brother or sister because then he would have to share his room and, besides, babies pull hair and he wouldn't want to share toys with someone who pulls hair because that is not nice. I told him that his friend Alycah (full name: Alycah Zam, which her parents thought was hilarious until the first loud playground reprimand of ALYCAHZAM!! made all the parents stare- so funny) lived close by, but he says she's too far. 3 blocks is apparently too far! In any case, they are our new family to loooove and we have been spending lots of quality time together. I am getting happier and happier here as I build my Berkeley community.

I felt like there was an outside chance I was pregnant this month, and was so bummed when I got my period. What does that mean? I don't know. I waffle on this second kid business like no one I know. But then, I waffle about everything. And thus the frown lines. Seriously. I want a second kid! But I'm so wary of actually doing it because, geez, the first kid almost killed me and I have such an unease about the indentured servitude of motherhood (yes, there, I said it). With Niko being 3.5, it's so much easier, and so fun. Do I really want to go down the rabbit hole again? The thing is that if I don't go down that rabbit hole, I feel like I'll have a lot of regrets at the end of my life. It's such an conundrum. And I know it'll be easier with the second because I'm not a beginner parent any more. I understand so much more now the impermanence of it all. But I know that it'll also have many moments I feel like I won't make it through. And I feel so very protective of my sleep. There is still one hormonal week a month that I don't get much sleep, and I'm not a great person on little sleep.

Anyhow, I've talked about all that boring stuff before.

I could tell you about Thanksgiving. It was amazing! I cooked with a mama friend of mine in preparation the day before and it really saved my ass, plus it was so joyful. The night before the holiday, I got a bit high and decked out the table. As a result of these solid preparations, I hosted the prettiest and best tasting Thanksgiving I've hosted yet (third time is the charm, I guess). It was honestly perfect and super fun. There were 6 adults and 3 kids, and another mom came by with her son for desert, which is really the perfect amount of people to have over. I had everyone come with their list of things to be thankful for (one for every year of life), and there was such a solid representation of goodwill and thanks in this house. I will always thank the Goldbergs for sharing that tradition with us last year. We will keep to it for every Thanksgiving meal! It was grand!

In the days that followed, we had a ton of visitors over. Katie was here for the 2 weekends after. And even between those weekends, it's just been this wonderful wash of spirt making in the house. So much wine. So much food. I was definitely burning the candle at both ends though, and ultimately getting pretty grumpy until I told Buster last weekend that we were NOT hosting and definitely relaxing. That was a solid idea. This weekend we will also take it easy and prepare for the crazy of Christmas.

And after Christmas? I'm getting foot surgery. Fucking terrifying, you guys.

I was expecting a client an hour ago and she never showed, so let's thank her for giving me time to write this entry! Now I have to go and puck a dude up from preschool, which is one of my favorite times of the day.

The twitter holiday party is tonight. Whatever will I wear? Oh geez. I usually have this stuff planned out far ahead of time. Oh well.

Date: 2013-12-19 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Glad to hear you had such a good Thanksgiving. I am kinda jealous of you and your mama network out there. I have moms around who I totally love but none of them really live *that* close and a lot of them are bogged down with other things and anyway, I am hoping to continue to try and cultivate those kids of relationships as H gets older and goes to preschool and stuff. It'll happen.

I was hoping to finally meet you when I went out to the Bay Area next week but I think you will surely be post-surgery convalescing and deservedly so. Good luck with that and (before that) enjoy the holidays.

P.S. Whatever you wear to the party you will surely look fab!

Date: 2013-12-20 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I envision him being the John Keats of the 21st century... but living a lot longer, wrinkle free :-)

Date: 2013-12-22 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The second kid thoughts have already started for me - and I'm only WEEKS out of the darker days. Those early days are the worst, but I think like you say the good thing is that you don't have to do the first parent thing ever again. I felt like the worst parent when I just couldn't figure out what was going on but now I almost have to remind myself about that because it seems like a dream. You'll be great - and the kid will make up for all the bad times. Everyone says it passes so quickly and they were mostly right.
PS: you looked awesome in the photos. You are my rockin' mum style icon.

Date: 2013-12-26 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I will have to let you know how #2 goes. I will say that being pregnant a second time has been cake compared to the first, I can only hope parenting the second time will go as well. Right now I'm a teeny bit nervous because my 23 month old is most definitely acting like a typical, irrational 2 year old which is beyond trying, but I know this phase will pass just like every other one has. I totally understand what you mean about sleep too but I figure one+ more year of not sleeping isn't going to kill me, although I know it will age me.

GOOD LUCK with the foot surgery, I bet sweetheart Niko is going to make a pretty amazing nurse for his mama!
Edited Date: 2013-12-26 02:46 am (UTC)


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