Dec. 20th, 2012

kellianne: (2009)
Do y'all ever get a feeling of utter disconnection when something VERY BIG is about to change in your life, or is it just me?

It's like when you're engaged to be married, or in your 3rd trimester of pregnancy and everyone you see, even co-workers that you see several times a week, asks "OMG ARE YOU GETTING EXCITED????" every time they see you. And, if you're me, you're like, "Ummm...? Sure." Because it doesn't feel real that your life is about to change like crazy. Because you can't KNOW the UNKNOWN and wrap your little brain around all that change... so what is there to be excited about? When you are baffled?

I said to Buster the other day (in THERAPY), "I can't wait to move to San Francisco so you can stop telling me that I don't know anything about San Francisco!" Because, really, he is there once a week for days AND grew up in the (baffling) OC. He knows so much more of what we are about to get into than I do. All I can ascertain about this area of California (which I have never been able to spell without spell check) is the following:

++++ IT IS SUNNIER THAN SEATTLE
- People REALLY like their cars there
- It is wicked expensive
+ Their food scene is the basis upon which all good, modern American cuisine sits
+ Big ass succulents
+ They sure do love their disco bleeps and bloops
+ Houses are mad colorful
+ Wine is mad good
- They like Green Day in Oakland
- Hippies
- Dirty bums who shit in the street
+ Produce is cheap and amazing
+ AVOCADOS
- Everybody talks tech 24/7 (groan)
++++++ DID I MENTION THAT IT IS SUNNIER THAN SEATTLE?
+/- Most of the girls have long hair (which makes bread and butter cuts hella easy for me)
+/- According to recent reports from the street scene, hairdressers there are not hip in veggie dye applications. This means $$ for me. Even though I kind of hate veggie dye applications.


And that's really it. Did you notice emphasis I put on the sun? You guys, it is so fucking extra dark in Seattle right now, and so rainy. I am stoked to go east on Saturday. I don't care if it's cold as balls (which, hi global warming, it is not) so long as it is bright. I hate hate hate HATE this weather. It makes me stupidly grumpy. I'm tired of my feet always being cold and I am becoming convinced that those swollen lymph nodes on the back of Niko's head will become magically un-swollen in a drier climate. Speaking of Niko- I think he has his first little cold sore. Bully to me for giving him the herp.

Anyhow. Today I am making the house amazing and clean for our house sitter because we will be gone for about 3 weeks to holiday back East. And Rick is bothering me to come to NYC. Which is so weird to talk about because for some reason going to NYC makes me feel tense. I think it's because I envision an urbanite visit where lots of money I don't have (as of Friday I am FUNemployed) is spent on lots of fancy food and drinks. All I want to do is hang out in kitchens and socialize with people in yoga pants while little cherubs drool on my ankles. NYC. You have been lost on me these days. I will definitely be in DC though, because people hang out in houses there. And Baltimore. And Philly. And Richmond. NYC!!!? My beloved? Am I giving you the shaft? Why is the thought of you stressing me out? Am I afraid you will lure me into spending my last $60 on socks?

What else? I feel like there is so much. I should really write about how Niko is saying all sorts of magical things these days. Like how when I lose my temper and scold him, he asks me when my flare subsides, "Are you happy now, mama? I want you be happy." Or, when he is hyper (which isn't often because he is way more in his mind than in his body), he says, "I FEEL RUNNY!!" About how his new best friend at preschool is a kid he has known since birth (the kids mama and I became friends in birth class). This kid was the bully for the first year they were in school together, and is totally in his body with hyper activity. But now they are in dude love! and teachers tell me that they are ones to watch like a comedy team. Niko is the brains of the operation and comes up with the wicked ideas, and Ellis carries them all out. Hilarious!

Also, it has been so difficult to say goodbye to all my clients at VAIN. All these amazing, intelligent people who have helped shape my understanding of life experiences over the past 5 years. All these clients who trust me, who I don't need to filter myself or audition for any longer. That is extremely hard to leave, you guys. Double booked work weeks and a full time paycheck for only 3 days of work is also hard to leave. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY CAREER FOR MY MARRIAGE????? So much restarting in a business that does not take kindly to restarting. Oi.

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kellianne

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